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People tend to think that getting women is all about successful “game.”  And it is.

But real game doesn’t start on the outside–it starts with INNER game.  Because without dealing with yourself properly–having the confidence, the self-esteem, the sense of purpose and direction–your external game just won’t be convincing.  And it will NOT work.

Think about it: Why do some guys, who are short, ugly, and fat, have better success with women than the good-looking, tall guys you would expect to “game up” women with ease?

Because they’ve got GREAT inner game.  And the guys who fail, just do not.

What do I mean by inner game?  I mean thinking like a champion.  Believing in yourself.  Having a sense of purpose, and overcoming inner doubt and rejection.  Even if you are rejected, you bounce back with ease and DON’T LET IT KNOCK YOU DOWN.

Just ask Carlos Xuma. This guy gets women all the time, without being overly handsome or tall.  He just thinks like a champion.

Which you can do too.  It’s not as difficult as it sounds, and it can be done no matter what your previous track record.

It all starts with your confidence, and confidence comes from having your head right–not previous success.  Previous success isn’t what matters when you approach the next girl, the next date, the next relationship.  Confidence and resilience, the core elements of inner game: they are what help you succeed time and time again.

Where to start?  Well, in case you haven’t heard, Carlos just put out a great little guide called Ultimate Inner Game and Confidence with Women. This is VERY cool stuff. I thought his other books were good, but this knocks it right out of the park.

Carlos explains the top 5 ways guys lose their confidence with women…AND how to fix them.

He also addresses the usual issues that stop guys from having success–and I am NOT talking about how much you earn, how tall you are, how good-looking you may be.  Those things ultimately don’t matter when compared with the topics he addresses–and helps you fix:

* Masculinity

* Managing anxiety and fear

* Overcoming shyness and developing social skills

* and, what is in my opinion the most important: HOW TO GET RID OF OLD, SELF-DEFEATING BEHAVIORS.  And how to adopt new, winning ones for life.

He also gives an EXCELLENT technique for stopping that negative “loser-boy” voice in your head. This is stuff that not only applies to getting the women you want, but also to overcoming other obstacles, such as career and financial goals.  I wish I’d had this years ago!

A lot of guys have been asking me what we men should do for body language, so this column will give you the answers: how to recognize female body language, how to react to it, and how to use your own body language to flirt with women successfully, from start to finish.

You have to remember that whatever you say, however you gesture your hands, arms, head, and eyes, women are NOT taking your movements at face value. If she jokes with you and you lightly push her away as if to say “Stop”, she’s taking that simple gesture as something more: interest, dis-interest, enjoyment, annoyance-any of a million different signals. She’s reading it for further suggestions as to what kind of guy you are, and what your interest in her is. Know that with body language, girls are always reading the way you move and act!

Here are my “Lucky Seven” best ways to show interest:

The confident eye gaze
The “Dale Head Drop”
Smile!
Open body language
Lean in to her
Thumbs in belt
Touch her

Let’s look at each in more detail:

1. The confident eye gaze

This is how you start your interest. Nothing shows confidence off the bat like meeting a girl’s eyes, and KEEPING YOUR STARE. If you see her look down and smile, you know you’ve made it and the time to approach is now. If she looks away from you but doesn’t smile, give her a shot nonetheless; just the fact that she met your eyes for a second or two shows interest.

2. The Dale Head Drop

So named after the guy who mastered the art of getting women rushing to his side, just with a simple shrug! If you really want to blow away a girl-and show some balls-meet a girl’s eyes, then knowingly drop your head to the side, as if to say, “Hey, you know you want me. Come over here and get me!” I’ve found this to work incredibly well in foreign countries. In the States, the girls tend to be able to see through it a bit more-but it still works!

3. Smile!

It’s often overlooked, but nothing communicates happiness, confidence, and interest in a girl all in one like a nice big smile. Show the girl you’re in control, show her you’re confident, show her you’re a fun guy to be around: brighten the place up with a big smile! And if your teeth need work, then get them fixed! It’s good not just for your chances of meeting a girl, but also for your health and appearance!

4. Open Body Language

So many guys walk or sit with their arms crossed, their legs close together, and their faces anxious and flat. Stop that! Welcome a girl into your world: Have your arms open and leaned back, your legs open and relaxed, your face warm and inviting. You’ll not only attract yourself into a girl’s world, but also into the world of people at a party, club, or bar who can help you meet a future girlfriend-or even wife!

5. Lean in to her

As you’re talking to a girl, especially while seated, show her your interest with confidence by leaning in closer. You don’t want to be a creep, of course, but you can generally tell by a girl’s body language and talk how interested she is in you. If things are looking good, show her your control of the situation-and interest in her-by leaning in and generally getting closer to her. Leaning back does the opposite; it shows you’re unconfident and not overly interested. Not what you want to communicate.

6. Thumbs in belt

Ever put your thumbs in your belt, with your hands at your hips’ side? This is processed as a sign of being confident in one’s sexuality and size. So if you’re standing around at a bar or club and want to convey confidence, this will certainly be understood by girls!

7. Touch her!

Yup, nothing gets you closer to a girl than physical touch. Great conversations and emotional/spiritual chemistry are great, but if you really want to take it to the next level, you’ll have to eventually show some balls and touch her. I’m not talking about grabbing her and making out (unless it really is going that well and she’s flirting out of control!), but doing little things: brushing your arm by her shoulders, lightly massaging her, leading her by the arm to another location in the place. By making a physical connection, you’re giving her a sign loud and clear that you’re confident in yourself and interested in her.

Women, to put it bluntly, are biologically different from men. Those differences imply some guidelines for diet, exercise and health matters in general.

Women, for example, naturally have a higher percentage of body fat than men, 27% on average compared to 15% for a fit individual. That single number alone is helpful information if one of your weight loss or exercise goals is fat reduction. Any woman trying to reduce her percentage should take into account this natural difference, since it can help avoid guilt and provide a realistic goal.

Women experience hormonal changes that differ considerably from that of men as they age. Even young women can have irregularities in menstrual cycle and other physiological changes as a result. This can be seen more clearly by looking at some extreme cases, for example.

Women in concentration camps in WWII frequently discontinued having regular menstrual cycles, as a result of the effects of starvation. Highly trained female athletes also often experience similar changes, as a result of ultra-low body fat and other causes.

The ill effects of PMS (Premenstrual Syndrome) can be reduced by stabilizing blood sugar levels, regulating fat intake and other dietary changes. For example, mood swings can be smoothed out to a degree by higher amounts of soluble fiber, which helps produce a slower rise in blood sugar. Apples, oats and beans are good sources.

Combining fat with protein and carbohydrate intake in a balanced way will help slow the rise in blood sugar from the carbohydrate consumption. Ice cream may be a comfort food but the effect is short-lived and doesn’t provide the balance needed. Instead, increase consumption of fresh fruit and vegetables. Bananas are a good choice, along with walnuts.

Women are more prone to arthritis, fibromyalgia and other conditions. Certain previously unsuspected food allergies can worsen the symptoms. Testing is essential, but at the same time a healthy diet will help. Rice beverages can be substituted for those sensitive to cows milk, there are wheat-free breads on the market that are still whole grain and peanuts may need to be avoided for some.

For example some women who suffer from rheumatic symptoms will find they are allergic to wheat. A gluten-free diet will help lessen that problem. This includes finding substitutes for ordinary cereal, standard bread, pasta and other foods made from wheat flour.

During the years of menopause, as cycles become less regular and large hormonal changes are occurring, diet can help lessen the severity of any discomfort. Lowering sodium intake is helpful. Substitutes include herbs, garlic or lemon juice for flavoring. Each individual is different, though, and you should consult a physician for proper amounts.

Menopausal women are likely to benefit from reducing saturated fats, beyond that of younger women or males. Since estrogen levels are declining, HDL cholesterol (the beneficial type) will tend to fall and LDL cholesterol (the potentially harmful type) will rise.

One result is that, though men in general have a higher risk of heart attack as they age, during this time a woman’s risk is equal to those of men of similar age. Reducing saturated and trans fat can help reduce those risks.

Moderate wine consumption is beneficial. It provides anti-oxidants and other helpful compounds and is generally lower in calories than many alternatives. Lowering caffeine can help reduce loss of calcium, which is more needed as women age.

What constitutes a proper diet varies somewhat by gender and age, so investigate what is right for your particular circumstances. Knowledge is the key to health.