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In my article, “The Art of the Approach–to Life,”(available on http://www.000relationships.com/towomen/articles.php) I taught you the best ways to approach the very art of approaching: with attitude, and with choice. Decide what mindset you’re going to carry into your encounters with girls, and decide what kind of girls you actually want. Once you’ve figured out what type of women you want, it’s time to go for her. Let’s find out what are some great ways to approach girls, then how to get the first date.

First subject: the inevitable topic of pick-up lines. They just DON’T WORK. You know why? Because they’re predictable and ordinary, the exact things girls DON’T want from a guy. When you feed a standard pickup line to her, you’re communicating that you’re the same as every other guy you there. Not what you want. What WOMEN want are excitement, spontaneity, surprise.

They also want someone GENUINE. So when you’re talking to a girl, don’t look like you’re copying someone’s lines; talk like you just noticed her and, being confident, decided you want to pursue her.

* Be open and honest; don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
* Use open body language-a relaxed, leaned-back body, and open arms and legs.
* Direct eye contact is also CRUCIAL; looking down or away while talking just doesn’t fly.
* Most of all, if you’re able to shock a chick with surprise-a crucial way of impressing and attracting a girl-then you’re really in for a treat. Or rather, she is.

Unfortunately, a lot of times you won’t be able to just go up to her; you’ll have to get through her group of friends, first. If you have some buddies with you, this is where the old “wingman approach” comes in handy. Make sure you and your buddy, or buddies, are on the same page as each other. Don’t go into a group with differing approaches-there’s nothing worse than one guy being cool and relaxed, and another being all braggadocio and stupid. Key your buddy in to how you want to approach.

Approach Techniques

A lot of guys ask me, “How do I just go up to a group and start talking?” Well, let me tell you what works from past experience:

1-Use Humor. I had a friend I did a schtick with that ALWAYS got us into the group. One of us would go to a girl in the group and be like, “Hey, I need your help on something. Do you think my friend Mike-or whatever your friend’s name is-is gay? I mean, look at his nice shirt, nice hair, nice skin. He’s gotta be gay!” Not only do girls laugh at this, but they feel they have to give their input. Nothing quite flatters like asking for advice.

2-Ask questions. As in the previous example, asking a group for their opinion on something-especially something funny-is a great way to get inside the group, then get to the girl you’re interested in. If you ask the question in a genuine way, and listen intently, the group of girls will feel flattered and excited. You’ve also given them a spark to an otherwise boring evening out. Joke about their answers, and ask more questions, and you should be in for a while.

3-Develop a secret, “inside” joke. Nothing works quite like having something personal between you and a group of people. An inside joke, or a secret handshake or sign, is a great way to do things. Try saying something to the group like, “Hey, ya know, we need a secret handshake or something.” Girls are all about making connections, so doing something that builds a strong foundation for friendship means guaranteed success.

But the all time best method: #4-Tell a story. This is what the guy I consider to be the original master of the art of approaching: Joseph Matthews, aka Thundercat, recommends, and it works not only for groups of girls but also for one girl in particular. He says, “When you first meet a girl, it is usually a good idea to have at least 3 openers and 3 stories memorized that you can talk to them about. Be sure that the openers and stories are good, open-ended, and interactive conversation pieces. Then, you’re going to STACK them.”

Good story-telling is definitely the best “in” to a group of girls. If you can make up a good story, like, “Hey, did you see that crazy guy in here who was dancing around in his underwear?”, or “Hey, have any of you ever heard of Celtic soul-gazing?”, then you should be in. You have to be convincing, and a good story-teller, but it’s a great way to open up the group to outsiders. Entertainment=Results.

Setting Up the First Date

Okay, so now you’re alone with your target, the girl you want to talk to. How do you set things up for another date? Joseph Matthews writes that no girl will go out with you on a first date without you first establishing TRUST. As he writes, “the quality of that number isn’t always the best. About 90% of the time, it’s a fake number the girl gave him just to get away from him, and the other 10% of the time, the girl isn’t interested enough to go out with him.”

You have to set a TEMPO in getting the phone number. Don’t rush. It’s important that you come off as cool, relaxed, and confident. Guys who have those qualities are in no hurry to get a phone number because they are CONFIDENT a girl will eventually give them his number.

It all begins with the basics–ABC: Always Be in Control:

* In this case, be in control of yourself by being relaxed, calm, and PATIENT.
* Don’t worry the whole time about getting her phone number; it’ll come if you act like you KNOW it will come.
* Remember to show an open body that suggests you’re relaxed, and confident.
* Keep your hands wide, your feet open.
* ALWAYS look a girl in the eye; if you don’t, you’ve already lost. Steady eye contact conveys confidence and control over the girl.
* Leaning back like you’ve got all the time in the world is also great; it will calm and relax her, too.

Just by doing these things, your girl will see that this is a guy she SHOULD give her phone number to. The ironic thing is, the less you show you care about seeing her again, the more likely SHE’LL care and give you her phone number, or suggest you meet up another time.

As Matthews writes in his free 6-day e-course, “Here’s the sequence I usually follow when getting the date:

1. Invite her out right then and there. Either I’ll ask her what she’s doing right now and if she wants to get a drink. If that’s not convenient, I’ll ask her if she wants to meet up later that night.

2. If she says “Yes” to meeting up later, I’ll then ask for her number. If she says “No,” I’ll still ask for her number because I like her and I want to see her again.

3. Finally, I’ll ask her when a good time to call is.

That simple 3-step process will get you a TON of dates.

Setting up the next meeting during the initial interaction is ideal. If you can’t do that, get her number and try to set it up later.”

Practical, wise advice that you can actually use, to get results, not frustration. That’s why I consider him the best pick-up artist out there. Other artists might have fancier techniques, but his actually make sense and work.

There are so many ways to approach girls. Few of them are exactly right and exactly wrong; a lot of it is subjective. Guess that’s why they call it the ART, not the science, of approach.

For more information on the art of approaching a girl, check out Joseph Matthews’ “Art of Approaching” website:

http://www.artofapproaching.com

Look: If you still feel uncomfortable approaching a woman, if approaching babes gives you fear and anxiety and brings up all those negative thoughts about yourself that you hate to hear…

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Understand: I’m not just recommending any course out there. I recommend “Approach Women Now!” because no other attraction course around (that I’ve seen anyway!) gives you instant access to not only ADVICE about approaching and rapport, but also VIDEO TUTORIALS showing you EXACTLY what to do and what not to do! Exercises, interviews from experts, and practice, practice, practice: it’s all designed to make YOU, no matter what your past, an expert approacher by day, morning, and night. No other course lets you actually PRACTICE from the comfort of your living room or office!

It’s simply unprecedented.

In fact, when it comes to learning how to approach, this course is the BOMB. Whether it’s interviews with guys who truly do know how to approach women (Will H, Lance Mason, David Wygant, etc.); approach simulator games that physically show you what to do and not to do; or simply video tutorial after video tutorial: there’s really NO WAY you can’t feel good about yourself and your chances with women after using this course.

Heck, with the 5-day strategic course you get with Carlos for free, you may even become better than him!

This course has it all, including 20 DVDs and CDs and 17 interviews, all designed to give guys like you and me the skills and the know-how of rapport, flirting, demonstrating highest value, and so much more.

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If you’re willing to give it a shot, you can be assured that your skills and your ability to handle women…will skyrocket.

So why not check it out?

Would you rather stay at home or continue to mess up…

or actually overcome those problems and become a guy both yourself and women love to be around?

A lot of guys have been asking me what we men should do for body language, so this column will give you the answers: how to recognize female body language, how to react to it, and how to use your own body language to flirt with women successfully, from start to finish.

You have to remember that whatever you say, however you gesture your hands, arms, head, and eyes, women are NOT taking your movements at face value. If she jokes with you and you lightly push her away as if to say “Stop”, she’s taking that simple gesture as something more: interest, dis-interest, enjoyment, annoyance-any of a million different signals. She’s reading it for further suggestions as to what kind of guy you are, and what your interest in her is. Know that with body language, girls are always reading the way you move and act!

Here are my “Lucky Seven” best ways to show interest:

The confident eye gaze
The “Dale Head Drop”
Smile!
Open body language
Lean in to her
Thumbs in belt
Touch her

Let’s look at each in more detail:

1. The confident eye gaze

This is how you start your interest. Nothing shows confidence off the bat like meeting a girl’s eyes, and KEEPING YOUR STARE. If you see her look down and smile, you know you’ve made it and the time to approach is now. If she looks away from you but doesn’t smile, give her a shot nonetheless; just the fact that she met your eyes for a second or two shows interest.

2. The Dale Head Drop

So named after the guy who mastered the art of getting women rushing to his side, just with a simple shrug! If you really want to blow away a girl-and show some balls-meet a girl’s eyes, then knowingly drop your head to the side, as if to say, “Hey, you know you want me. Come over here and get me!” I’ve found this to work incredibly well in foreign countries. In the States, the girls tend to be able to see through it a bit more-but it still works!

3. Smile!

It’s often overlooked, but nothing communicates happiness, confidence, and interest in a girl all in one like a nice big smile. Show the girl you’re in control, show her you’re confident, show her you’re a fun guy to be around: brighten the place up with a big smile! And if your teeth need work, then get them fixed! It’s good not just for your chances of meeting a girl, but also for your health and appearance!

4. Open Body Language

So many guys walk or sit with their arms crossed, their legs close together, and their faces anxious and flat. Stop that! Welcome a girl into your world: Have your arms open and leaned back, your legs open and relaxed, your face warm and inviting. You’ll not only attract yourself into a girl’s world, but also into the world of people at a party, club, or bar who can help you meet a future girlfriend-or even wife!

5. Lean in to her

As you’re talking to a girl, especially while seated, show her your interest with confidence by leaning in closer. You don’t want to be a creep, of course, but you can generally tell by a girl’s body language and talk how interested she is in you. If things are looking good, show her your control of the situation-and interest in her-by leaning in and generally getting closer to her. Leaning back does the opposite; it shows you’re unconfident and not overly interested. Not what you want to communicate.

6. Thumbs in belt

Ever put your thumbs in your belt, with your hands at your hips’ side? This is processed as a sign of being confident in one’s sexuality and size. So if you’re standing around at a bar or club and want to convey confidence, this will certainly be understood by girls!

7. Touch her!

Yup, nothing gets you closer to a girl than physical touch. Great conversations and emotional/spiritual chemistry are great, but if you really want to take it to the next level, you’ll have to eventually show some balls and touch her. I’m not talking about grabbing her and making out (unless it really is going that well and she’s flirting out of control!), but doing little things: brushing your arm by her shoulders, lightly massaging her, leading her by the arm to another location in the place. By making a physical connection, you’re giving her a sign loud and clear that you’re confident in yourself and interested in her.